Thursday, September 04, 2008

Sarah Palin for VPL


Well, the first thing I did when I heard that Sarah Palin was standing as the Republican candidate for VP was call her up and congratulate her. She laughed about it because she said when John McCain first called her to ask about being VP she thought he was trying it on and talking about her VPL. But once that little matter was sorted out, she was delighted to accept.



Now a lot of people think Sarah is ill informed, or maybe a little provincial. But in an intimate chat over a mooseburger she told me that she 'welcomes all types of white people.'



It is such a relief to at last have a candidate who talks the plain honest truth about the fact that human beings were created by God. And she is particularly blessed because Bristol is at present carrying the Messiah and will soon be having a virgin birth.

God bless this country. Palin is fully qualified to carry the intellectual baton that W. Bush has passed onto her.


This is a new dawn for the Republican Party. They should put their troubles behind them. Time was it was impossible to find a good impersonator for Dubya outside the animal world. But thank God for Tina Fey who will impersonate Palin with pride and make millions in the process.


35 comments:

Gargamello said...

Ok five points:

1. Could she really be any worse a prez than Bush? At least Palin can talk pretty and does not look like a chimp.

2. Nice call on the Tina Fey resemblance - wow what a boost for her career.

3. Would you really rather McCain have chosen another stuffy old white guy Washington insider? Really?

4. McCain Palin sounds a lot better than Obama Biden - could the Dems have picked a ticket that looks any more like "Osama Bin Laden"? Honestly wtf.

5. Hillary is shittin bricks of jealousy that she had to put up with Bill cheating on her for 20 years waiting for her moment, only to have fate hand this bow legged country bumpkin Eskimo the job - just a 72 year old man's heart murmur away from the big desk. LOVE IT.

EmmaK said...

gargamello...It is good fun to have Palin in politics and no I would not rather have another stuffy old white guy inside her (or me for that matter) lol

mutleythedog said...

Well apart from all that I rather like her...I mean who would you rather have as a neighbour? Her or Hilary? I know who I would pop round to borrow a cup of sugar from and be sure of a friendly welcome...

Cunning_Linguist said...

I'd rather have had Condi as McCain's VP but whaddya gonna do. It would have at least made things interesting for foreign affairs when she pulled out the old "Oh no you didn't!" head roll and snap of the fingers. You know... Like Soul PLane but only with politics and MUCH funnier.

Kira said...

I had to go look up VPL... i am so out of touch i didn't know it means visable panty line.
that photo of her in the mini i sent you is fake. but i will send you one of her that is real.
it is her at college age wearing a shirt that says," I make be broke but at least I'm not flat busted".
That photo was released by her family! LOL

garfer said...

Isn't that ex Python Michael Palin in drag? I don't see why Michael should be VP when he would make a perfectly good President, being frightfully polite and English.

He could make tea drinking compulsory and force the Americans to pronounce Jaguar properly.

the beast of berkeley hunt said...

Anybody who shoots their own brother in law up the ass with a bazooka has got my vote.

the beast of clapham common said...

Give me Obama anyday.

Liberal Banana said...

Oh man, that first video was amazing. So hilarious! And oh my gosh - Tina Fey WOULD do a perfect Palin impression. Can't wait to see this $hit go down!!!

Misssy M said...

I Don't know if you've seen the film, "Serial Mom" with Kathleen Turner. She's the All American "hockey Mom" (Sarah's words) who harbours psychopathic tendenceies.

Well Sarah just keeps on reminding me of this character.

Hillary Clinton must be crying into her pillow every single night. You've got to feel for her, really you do. She was supposed to break the glass ceiling. Not this Mary Tyler Moore wannabe.

Suzy said...

Tina Fey? Already has millions from her sitcom, Amex and movie writing. And she's not on SNL anymore so there's that.

sweetney said...

snort. WELL DONE!

Gorilla Bananas said...

McCain's main worry is having a visible stiffy when he's sharing a platform with her. She's definitely got sex appeal, but I wouldn't vote for her because I don't have the vote.

Memphis Steve said...

We don't vote for intellectuals. We vote for personalities. That's why Clinton was so popular. He was a jackass, but he was an entertaining jackass whom most people, Republicans included, would invite to a drunken party if they were having one. People want leaders they can laugh at and feel superior to. That's why we usually elect idiots. Otherwise Stephen Hawking would be President.

Molly said...

I so wish I could vote because I really want Obama to win, not some gun toting, fishing and hunting, no sex education (yep that worked out well didn't it Sarah?!) in schools, oil drilling in Alaska, no conservation lame ass as the next VP!

fingers said...

*yawn*
What else is on...

Steve said...

A chick with a gun. That's morally reprehensible but weirdly a turn on. McCain's a sly old dog...

SPARSELY KATE said...

Great, witty post...

EmmaK said...

mutley....Yeah she is sexier than Hillary, but isn't even McCain sexier than Hillary?

Cunning_Linguist
...wow, what an interesting insight into the male mind ...I wouldn't have thought Condi was attractive at all.

Kira...
I know that photo of her in the mini skirt is fake....still funny though....send me one of John McCain in a mini skirt if you find one

garfer...
Isn't that ex Python Michael Palin in drag?
WELL SPOTTED. You didn't just jerk off to it like some of my fans. You noted that it was Sarah Palin's head pasted onto Michael Palin's body and thought, I have standards, I will not wank off to a photoshopped picture.

the beast of berkeley hunt
Anybody who shoots their own brother in law up the ass with a bazooka has got my vote.
as long as she meant so shoot him and it wasn't like one of Cheney's 'accidents'

the beast of clapham common ...
Give me Obama anyday.
In a mini skirt or a thong?

Liberal Banana...
I don't really care about Palin one way or the other, she is a political nonentity, but the satire the comediennes will get out of it is fantastic. Palin will make so many comediennes/impersonators rich.

Misssy M...
She was supposed to break the glass ceiling. Not this Mary Tyler Moore wannabe.
I suppose it all came down to who had the nicer legs and who could reach the glass ceiling in the highest heels, alas

Suzy...
I'm sure Tina Fey wouldn't mind another few millions. I'm sure someone will cast her in a movie as Sarah Palin if Palin gets into office.

sweetney...
yes she's an easy target but I couldn't resist

Gorilla Bananas...
You need to write to Palin and start a campaign for VOTES FOR GORILLAS. I'm sure its the sort of meaty policy she could get her teeth into.

Memphis Steve...
I don't really agree. Clinton may have had a problem in that he had a kind of tourettes syndrome where every time he saw a woman he dropped his pants and asked her to such his dick (to which I say, who cares?) .....and okay he was enormously charismatic and fun....but he was also a very smart person IMHO and Palin has clearly been selected to appeal to the thick/right wing demographic of America.

Molly...
I suppose if i could vote I would vote for Obama only because the alternative is so grim

fingers...
go on, you know you'd take a sniff of her kipper sandwich if it was offered to you

Steve said...
I know what you mean, but I'd prefer to see Pam Grier toting a gun. HOT!!
http://tinyurl.com/6brt6f

SPARSELY KATE...
It will be fun to see whether she becomes the Dan Quayle of politics

Memphis Steve said...

Actually, Palin was chosen to steal the feminists who are still mad about Hillary getting snubbed from Obama. And word is that it appears to be working to some extent. If they wanted the 'guy' vote then they would have chosen Jessica Simpson.

EmmaK said...

But just because a candidate is a woman it doesn't make her a feminist. I mean Palin is light years away from Clinton.

I don't mean she was chosen because she is sexy - I mean I think she was chosen because she comes from a blue collar state and is meant to appeal to blue collar workers plus religious nutters.

electro-kevin said...

Seriously. That woman is every teenage boy's wet dream.

MIIIIIILF !!!

EmmaK said...

electro-kevin....
I believe the term is GIIILLFF!
For Governor and Grandma
Happy wanking
x

D said...

Underestimate Sarah Palin at your own risk. Win or lose this particular election, I believe we are seeing a future President of the United States when we look at her.

Besides she is at least as qualified at the top of the opposing ticket.

belledame222 said...

As long as you're not at all concerned about abortion remaining legal, sure:

SP: I am pro-life. With the exception of a doctor’s determination that the mother’s life would end if the pregnancy continued. I believe that no matter what mistakes we make as a society, we cannot condone ending an innocent’s life

(Taken from a questionnaire the Eagle Forum (a -very- right wing religious outfit) gave all Alaskan gubernatorial candidates; that link's down, but here she is "On The Issues:" she's well on record as saying she'd have been against abortion even if her daughter had been raped)

iow, not even in the case of rape or incest. No more abortion. McCain, the actual candidate? got a 0% rating from NARAL; he's flip-flopped but ultimately comes down hard anti-choice these days. And there are going to be a bunch of Supreme Court bench opening over the next couple of terms.

I mean, it's great for her own kid that she's got support and that that's her choice (if it's really her own choice) to have the baby; but, see, if any of the rest of us don't happen to agree, we'll be kind of screwed.

Oh, and btw, on sex ed:

3. Will you support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education instead of for explicit sex-education programs, school-based clinics, and the distribution of contraceptives in schools?

SP: Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support..


SO, basically, she preached abstinence-only; her daughter got pregnant out of wedlock anyway, -somehow-; and they're having what looks like a shotgun marriage, and, again: if you think that's a good model, as apparently a lot of people do, you're good to go; just, there's probably going to be a lot more of that.

Kara said...

couldn't be a better choice...illustrates the decision-making ability of john mccain and will hopefully ensure his political demise. that and the rumor about the illegitimate black baby i'm about to spread.

Daisy said...

it could be worse...do you remember dan quayle? hey, she can shoot and then field dress a moose...that is more than most can say and are wanting to run the country but cant feed their own family without their inheritances...

moi said...

My biggest problem with her other than the fact that she appears to be in a fashion rut? The dumb ass, "kreative" names of her chillruns. Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. WTF? Sounds like a law firm.

EmmaK said...

d...I'm not underestimating her I just find her temper a little scary. What Sarah wants Sarah gets eh?
http://tinyurl.com/5nprxe

belledame22....indeed, her views on abortion are truly enlightening
[sarcasm]

kara....the rumor about the illegitimate black baby i'm about to spread.
please get going on this!!

Daisy...
I must say I have a bit of a soft spot for Quayle and his quotes like:
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

moi...
Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.

Sounds like a law firm.....
or maybe the members of a prog rock band from the sixties called
JESUS FREAKS

D said...

"I'm not underestimating her I just find her temper a little scary. What Sarah wants Sarah gets eh?"

Scarier than Hillary? Now that woman gets what she wants . . . until the Democrats found someone they liked better that is.

I'm reading this stuff here and I can't help but be struck by the sexism being displayed. Not that it bothers me . . . hell, I can ignore all the qualities of a woman besides her looks with the best of them. I'm just surprised to hear it coming from so many on the left.

Or not.

Still, one of the commenters is correct, she is lightyears away from Hillary. Sarah made it on her own, Hillary made it on Bill's coattails.

EmmaK said...

d...what's your point, that some religious nut (Palin) should be in government? Yes some of the comments about her are sexist but the fact remains that most sane people do not want someone teaching creationism, criminalizing abortion and who believes that we should raise 'holy wars' against terrorists. Relgion has no place in politics.

Lotta said...

I am dying to see my girl crush do an impression of Sara Palin!

Jonathan said...

the much-anticipated Tina Fey
Sarah Palin impression

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I love it! Very creative!That's actually really cool.
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