There are so many ways to tell a woman that you find her attractive aren't there? One of them seems to be to write to an agony aunt like myself about having a small penis. Yes indeed, it turns out that the guy who I called Gordon now claims that he was just having a laugh when he wrote to me. I'm not so sure...
Yesterday he wrote:
Hi, I was curious as why you picked the name Gordon? It’s OK I can live with that! Unlike my puny penis. Your post was quite funny by the way but I’m not coming to you for advice again!! I know that may hurt you somewhat but I feel you should be more considerate. PS my penis is 4.4 inches! I measured it wrong owing to the fact it is banana shaped!
Hi Emma, or can I call you Lucinda? I love that name! If you’d given me good advice on the puny penis problem I was going to bring another problem to your table! How, as a short man [approx 4ft 8] do I make myself more attractive to women? But in hindsight I think I’d be scarred for life with your response! You’d probably tell me to join a circus where I’d meet equally sized challenged ladies?
Hi Emma, the other emails before were a piss take! The reason? My best buddy died recently[cancer] and he wanted me when he was gone to take the piss out of the materialistic society in which we live! I didn't realize at first but your site is a piss take! He (Aron) would be laughing his head off right now! especially at your blog entry which was very funny.
I replied: I'm afraid you've lost me...how is writing an email about having a small penis taking the piss out of our materialistic society?
I reckon your penis is small or you wouldn't have written thanks for nothing!
The penis is the ultimate symbol of the male ego! If you look back at history it always has been! the obelisk type of building is a representation of that! The materialistic attitude and male ego are the same thing.
Er, right. How big is your penis then really? By the way how old are you?
Hi Emma, I suppose you would not belive me if i told you id never measured my little fella? OK I have but I've always been drunk when the moment of truth came! it was 6 sumthin or other i think lol! im 26 years of age! im studying biomedical science at uni so i may be a doctor one day?! i want to be a penis doctor so i can help all the poor fuckers uv scarred 4 life! only jokin Ur lovely really?
Hmm.... I think the lady doth protest too much about it being six sumthin or other. What say you?
Who am I? Displaced Londoner now living in the States with my two little girlies and long suffering husband. Co-author of hilarious parenting book Cocktails at Naptime www.cocktailsatnaptime.com
My mom's an Austrian, my dad's a Brit, which makes me a Britaustrian, or possibly an Austrish?