Then she saw this and said, "Wow, that's such a cool belt. What do you need the hole for? Is it to keep the pens?"
"Er, yeah." She's a smart kid. But I realized it was time to close down the site.
Apart from tramatizing Scarlett, I have also put my life in peril. I went to visit a couple called Mike and Tiffany yesterday who have caught a really nasty disease called Mercer Staph which is pretty resistant to antibiotics. The husband developed this spot on his leg and he didn't think much of it, then it became redder and then a red line started to make its way up to his heart and he thought, "Fuck!" So he went to the hospital and the doctor told him he had Mercer, and the spot was a boil and under it was masses of pus. If left untreated it would have killed him! The doc scraped the boil out, a deep crater - without anaesthetic. Absolute horror show! And now his wife has a small boil too. God it's so scary. Reminds me of the plague.
I'm not a hypochondriac, but since hanging out at their house I constantly check my body for boils. This is a public service announcement. If you find a large spot on your person, run don't walk to the nearest doctor. For more info go here.
John and I are also kind of regretting that foursome we had with Tiffany and Mike a few weeks ago. It was fun and all but we're just hoping something nasty doesn't erupt anytime soon.*
*that was a joke
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19 comments:
Congrats on the sex toy gig! I tried to get into that a while ago but the company (not yours) flaked out on me. Have fun with all your new toys!
Sounds like a great job, congratulations!
As to the other, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Tricky devils, boils. So are you warming to the vibrator, Emma? Surely you can't have anything against the little clit stick?
A pen! Hahahahaha! Scarlett is a riot!
Sex toy reviewer? *ears perk up* How does one get this 'job'?
So I take it you get to try out these toys? For WHOM are you going to strap on that pen holder?
Yes I too have been caught opening up blogs with rather explicit things and madly trying to close it down before prying eyes see.
I can only imagine the fun it would be to get another vibrator in the mail to rate and review. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzzz.
Oh and to the boil thing? that is truly rank. That poor man.
ooooooooo on the job! I want that job.
And another eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww on the boils.
How does she do it ? How DOES she do it ???
Only our Emma could get a job reviewing dildos !
Well done, gal - you've got me in stitches here.
:-))
Post some of the reviews so that we can all share. And practice safe surfing when your daughter is around.
And that staph sounds really, really nasty. No thanks.
Ugh! How scary!
And I defy you all to think about sex toys in the future without also thinking about nasty boils!
I love the way anchoring works; I once heard a radio DJ commit professional suicide by talking about Tokyo blow-job bars whilst in the middle of promoting Pirates of the Caribbean 3, and now the two are inextricably linked for me.
Would have loved to see the apoplexy on the producer...
What a job though; I presume that you get to sample all the goodies?
marcelle manhattan...after an interview that went on for several hours and had me in various outfits handling various objects I was given the job!! lol
sailor....Luckily I have not found any boils on my person yet!
gorilla bananas.....Did you know that my husband actually warms up my sex toys for me under a warm tap? Talk about the man of my dreams. I have tried a few vibrators and am warming up to them.
bottleblonde....maybe I will strap on the pen holder for tiffany (see above)....;)
betty...actually mike was very easy going about his boil. he works in a hospital and has seen a lot worse I think.
betty...I left the page open because they really did look like colorful pens...no pics of nude ladies or anything!
I'm gonna try and write some of my reviews at the same time as i'm using the vibrator. Should be amusing!
vi.....I'm sure there are UK websites looking for hardworking individuals like you to test their products. Good luck!
electro-kevin...I just hope they don't send round a whole truck load and I end up burning the vibrator at both ends and ending up with fanny burn etc etc lol
yellojkt....mike got it from the hospital he works at, but it is pretty prevalent in the maryland area at the moment so be watchful!
having my cake....don't worry too much this staph outbreak is only in the US at present.
melissaria....I think I have to test whatever they send me (hope I don't get the nipple clamps)
geez i laughed about the foursome thing you slipped in at the end. that was brilliant!!
The trick is to try out the big one first. The rest won't matter after that.
;-)
Sorry, I thought they weren't pens? If you can write a review while using them, I'm getting so confused... Either they were pens or you have a future career as an exotic dancer!
wo! scary shit, yo. I hope no one gets too too sick and everyone has a speedy recovery.
And I'm with vivi and bottle blonde. I need a job like that.
Any chance you could enlighten us as to how you got it?
Even if it were a non-paying gig, I'd be more than happy to oblige!
Serious lack of money means no new toys and that makes me so sad.
Congratulations, Emma! Money for sex-toy reviews? Was there ever a cushier number than that? I guess rather than having to avoid taking work home with you, you'll need to think twice about taking it to the office. Flippen excellent. Well done, you.
My kids found my stash of sex toys and tried to explain it to her that it daddy's tool to fix the plumbing. lo
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